Liam Cody and Chris Tomkins star in Planet of the Popes.
After the box office success of Planet of the Apes, director Tim Burton needs script ideas for a sequel.
We’ve decided to help him out.
This month, we have assembled the finest script ideas we could think of while walking out of the cinema. Here they are.
- Planet of the Grapes – An astronaut lands on a planet populated by intelligent grapes, and discovers the only place in the universe where drinking a glass of wine means a sentence of death by over-watering.
- Planet of the Japes – Where every night is comedy night. (Likely to be the title of Lesley Neilsen’s parody version).
- Planet of the Snails – An astronaut lands on a planet populated by highly-evovled snails. The snails try to enslave him, but he simply walks away.
- Planet of the Tapes – An astronaut lands on a planet in the midst of the “Digital/Analogue Conversion Wars”.
- Planet of the Crepes – A planet populated by intelligent crepes. Stars newcomer Suzette Maplesyrup.
- Planet of the Dolphins – An astronaut lands on a planet ruled by highly-evolved dolphins, and drowns.
- Planet of the Capes – Where being a superhero isn’t normal, it’s expected.
- Planet of the Humans – A documentary.
- Planet of the Slugs – Just like Planet of the Snails but without the expensive armour costumes. Rated R.
- Planet of the Three-toed Sloths – An astronaut lands on a planet ruled by highly evolvled lazy three-toed sloths who sleep for up to 19 hours a day. Not much action, but great dream sequences.
- Planet of the Popes – A planet where there is no evolution or sex before marriage, but plenty of choir boys.
- Planet of the Drapes – Potentially Tim Burton’s darkest movie yet.
Planet of the supposed WMD’s Tony Blair and George Bush land on a planet ruled by apes that really have weapons of mass destrution
Planet of the acid washed jeans Astronaut lands on a planet populated by mutants wearing acid washed jeans.
Planet of the farts An astronaut lands on a planet filled with road signs that say “Please don’t strike a match.”
Planet of the Pissheads Astronaut lands on a planet populated by drunken barflys only to find that he’s still on earth but has landed in downtown Melbourne.
Palnet Fo Hte Espa Where everyone is dyslexic
Planet of the Scalps An astronaut lands on a planet where everyone is homeless, unwashed and bald. His hair draws attention, and the locals grab him. He fights to be free and yells: “Get you hands off me, you dirty-stinking bald-scalps!”
Planet of the Half-Baked Apes A 30 minute prequel to the sequel which the sequel becomes the 3rd installment. An astronaut lands on a planet full of pot-headed apes. Convinces them he is a cop and throws them all in jail for the use of an illegal substance without a perscription. Then the astronaut becomes the ruler. At the end of the movie he wakes up before crash landing on a planet inhabited by apes, again.
Planet Hollywood An awful place where stuck-up,rich, snootie, coke-snorting, racist yuppies go to get drunk and… Oh,wait! there’s one of these already!
Planet of the Aches A planet where everyone needs an aspririn.
Planet of the Chaps Gay porn movie
Planet of the Bakes A movie about a Cajun astronaut that lands on a culinarilly-challenged planet to kick it up a notch!
Planet of the Gates A whole planet Controled by Bill gates and microsoft, the only way to get out is by the sacred Ctrl-Alt-Delete stones
Planet of the Mullets An astronaut lands on a planet where everyone has a mullet. The worst pa is…Billy Ray Cyrus is the leader…I know…corny….but so is a mullet!!!!
Planet of the Blondes I’ve forgotten what happens
Planet of the Planet of the Apes A movie in which a man named Tim Burton does a recreation of a movie and leaves an open ending with no sequel leaving a whole bunch of people to give him ending ideas on the internet.
Planet of the Sepa same as main film, but in this one the apes are backward.
Planet of the Fates Planet where everyone already knows whats going to happen. Excellent forshadowing, ending was a little obvious.
Planet Of The Waves A man lands on a planet where there are great waves…and then he surfs for about two hours…
Planet of Bill Gates
A man lands on a planet where an alien called Bill Gates rules the world…wait a minute…isn’t that earth???
Planet of the Babes A man lands on a planet where everybody is a babe…even the men.
Planet of the the Cheese burly astronaut lands on strange pointy planet inhabited by killeer, rabid cheese graters. They force the astronaut to listen to the sounds of pneumatic drills
Planet of the Flakes an astronaut lands on a planet and is grossed out by the massive epidemic of dandruff amongst its inhabitants.
Harry Potter and the Planet of the Apes – ry Potter, as a result of a spell gone wrong during a Quidditch match, crashes the Nimbus 2000 onto a planet ruled by apes, only to find out that their leader, Doctor Zaius, is wearing a turbin that, if unraveled, reveals Voldemort.
Planet of the Two Jakes A planet is discovered by a dirty old male actor and colonized to finance the outdated playboy lifestyle of this formally talented man.
Prisoner of the Apes – hn Drake crash lands on a planet ruled by an ape that turns out to be him.
Planet of the Jonah Lomu Astronaut lands on plant populated by semi intellegent primates, communicage with grunts and throw things around alot. Hey, I think this has already been done?
Planet of the Clerks stronaut lands on a planet where the only way to make a living is to be a convenience store or video clerk. People spend all day talking about life, Star Wars, ex girlfriends and fart jokes.
Planet Of The Twelve Apes Tim Burton’s rip-off of 12 Monkeys. An astronaught/time traveller tries to find the Planet of the 12 Apes. The leader ape is played by Brad Pitt’s clone.
Planet of the Lates a planet where everyone is late for everything
Planet Of the Horses A super-evolved genetically enhanced horse named Mister Ed arrives from the future. He proceeds to incite the oppressed equines of the apes to rebel against their simian enslavers. Their battle cry: ‘Say neigh to the primates, and we will certainly whinny!’